In the town of Athy, one Jeremy Lanigan battled away 'til he hadn't a pound
His father died, made him a man again
Left him a farm and ten acres of ground
He gave a grand party for friends and relations who didn't forget him when come to the wall
If you would just listen I'd make your eyes glisten
At rows and ructions at Lanigan's ball

Six long months I spent in Dublin, six long months doin' nothin' at all
Six long months I spent in Dublin learnin' to dance for Lanigan's ball
Well I stepped out (I stepped in again)
I stepped out (I stepped in again)
I stepped out (I stepped in again)
Learnin' to dance for Lanigan's ball

Meself to be sure got free invitations for all the nice girls and the boys I might ask
Just in a minute both friends and relations
Were dancing as merry as bees 'round a cask
There was lashin's of punch, wine for the ladies, potatoes and cakes, there was bacon and tay
There were the Nolans, the Dolans, O'Gradys
Courtin' the girls and dancing away

They were doing all kinds of nonsensical polkas all round the room in a whirlygig
Til Julia and I soon banished their nonsense
And tipped them a twist of a real Irish jig
Oh how that girl, she got mad and we danced til you'd think that the ceiling would fall
For I spent three weeks at Brooke's Academy
Learnin' the steps for Lanigan's ball

(Repeat Chorus)

The boys were as merry, the girls all hearty, dancin' together in couples and groups
Til an accident happened, young Terence McArthy
He put his right leg through Miss Finnerty's hoops! (Oops!)
The creature she fainted, and cried "Melia Murder", called for her brothers and gathered them all
Carmody swore that he'd go no further,
He'd have satisfaction at Lanigan's ball

In the midst of the row, Miss Kerrigan fainted, her cheeks at the same time as red as a rose
Some of the boys decreed "She was tainted,
She took a small drop too much I suppose!"
Her sweetheart, Ned Morgan, so powerful and able, when he saw his fair colleen stretched to the wall
He tore the left leg from under the table
And smashed all the dishes at Lanigan's ball

(Repeat Chorus)

Boys o' boys, tis then there was ructions, meself took a hit from young Felan McKew
I soon replied to his fine introduction
And kicked him a terrible hullabaloo
O'Casey, the piper, he nearly got strangled, they smashed up his pipes, bellows, chanter and all
Girls in their ribbons, they all got entangled
And that put an end to Lanigan's ball

(Repeat Chorus twice)